I’m a perfectionist typist. I learned to touch type (using one of those space shooter games on a PC) over 20 years ago. I’m at the keyboard daily, for both work and for fun. I’ve been known to carry on a conversation while typing something totally unrelated, without missing a beat in either the conversation or the email. Besides which, I’m also a spelling and grammar queen (though I will admit having certain grammar rules I purposely break). I did lose that 2nd grade spelling bee because I tried to put a “gh” in “astronaut”, but other than that, I rarely get words wrong, and never common words. I rarely use “textisms”, and generally type every word out, with perfect capitalization, even when using my phone. Even back in the day when my phone only did T-9.
So why the hell isn’t my brain firing those connections anymore? Why do I type totally different forms of the word I’m trying for? Like in the above paragraph, I first typed “shooting”, instead of “shooter”. Or in this one, I tried to combine “different forms” into a new word, “differorms”. I randomly add spaces in the middle of words, or miss them between two words. Or type “you” instead of “she”.
Oh, and correcting myself? Arrgghhh! I used to know when I’d mistyped something, and instantly correct it, without putting thought to it, even knowing how many backspaces to use. And now? I always seem to over or under backspace, and when you combine that with already having started retyping, and then having to backspace again, sometimes it takes me 10 tries to fix a mistake. And I can’t NOT fix it. (Bad grammar, bad!)
Earlier today, my sister was scratching her head, wondering “WTF?”, when she read my Facebook update of “Thing mints. Drool!”
Apparently, the drool reference there was to my own drooling idiocy, rather than the yummy chocolate and mint cookies.
Ok, I don’t really feel like I’m an idiot. Ok, maybe a little. But more frustrated than anything. I’ve always had this problem where sometimes I can’t remember words, usually nouns, often names. But, when I’m having trouble with nouns, I joke that I’ve had a stroke. It’s not as funny anymore, because it happens more often, and now it’s somehow screwed up the wiring between my brain and my fingers. I’d rather lose the ability to talk than the ability to express myself with typing. Mostly because I’ve always expressed myself better that way.
My neurosurgeon says that my memory problems, including communication issues, are a result of the medications I’m on, and not a Chairi Symptom. I’ve read in some places that it is a Chiari symptom, but either way, it should go away after surgery. I hope.
That leads me to another thing. After surgery, while I’m still in the hospital, I hope I’m not a drooling idiot (who can’t type or form complete sentences) and that I’m not a just plain idiot (like those times when I don’t remember what happened when I drank too much…). I’m a bit worried. I guess I’ll leave that on my sister’s plate, though. I’ll make lists of who is allowed to visit me at what stage.
Lists. I’m loving lists.
And just a minor rant, at least so far. I’m not sure if I’m up to finishing my last week of work. I really want to, and maybe I’m just sick today, I mean, I felt sick, and vomiting was an issue, but I think that everything else added to being sick was more than I could take. I really want to finish my project at work, but what if I can’t? I really don’t want to fail this, but how do I make it through? One day at a time, I know….
One last thing. Anyone out there reading this who has had decompression surgery – I have questions for you about the shunt, if you had it. I’ll write another post about it soon, but my neurosurgeon is putting a shunt in to drain spinal fluid for a couple of days, I’m wondering what that’ll be like.
Hey Misty, best of luck on the surg., did they test for MS? The symptoms may be quite similar. As far as the typing thing, wow, I hear ya. Seems like the proper spelling of words turns texts into long messages with little content, but all properly formed. Hahaha I think it’s better that way. Take care!
Vitaliy
They found the Chiari Malformation when doing an MRI that I think was supposed to be checking for MS. My primary care doctor wanted me to have tests for MS, and I know there would have been an MRI for that, but with the way the neurologist that did the MRIs treated me, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some other view that would have been needed to find MS. But, when my doc wanted the MS test, I didn’t think that my symptoms fit that perfectly, the way that the Chiari symptoms do.
Gotcha. Generally CNS and spine symptoms can overlap making everything so damn confusing. I bet it’s better to know what it is than to wonder. Yeah they do an MRI for MS and blood work and spinal tap.